Our hearts are often troubled, making us feel restless.
As Ramadhan approaches, it is time to reset our hearts…
Heart Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is well-known. Introduced by the psychologist Daniel Coleman, emotional intelligence consists of self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.
It is great, but only to some extent. However, it is often over-valorized. We can do so much more than the four elements of emotional intelligence. What we want to do is to harness the greater power that we have within us. We have, what can be called, heart intelligence. Arguably, heart intelligence is more crucial than emotional intelligence. Many people associate the heart with emotion. But the heart is not only emotion.
Research from the Institute of HeartMath based in the US has shown many of the heart’s potential when compared to emotion, including:
- Essence: The heart is our core essence of being. We are not defined by our emotions but by what is our true essence.
- Perception: With our sixth sense in the heart, we can perceive the world in a different way. Emotions may block perceptions, e.g., anger leads to irrationality.
- Knowledge: The neurobiological heart stores knowledge and works in tandem with the brain. Emotional intelligence is similarly related to knowledge.
- Intention: Purposeful intention in the heart is known to have powerful manifestations.
- Unity: Hearts can find coherence and be united with one another. Emotions alone cannot achieve this.
These are just some of the benefits of utilizing the heart. However, many people cannot fully utilize their own heart, even though they possess it. To utilize the many potentials of the heart, there is a need to undergo a process of purification of the heart.
Diseases of the Heart
According to Imam al-Ghazali, purification of the heart is continuous training to 1) inculcate virtues, and 2) struggle against vices.
Virtues are good values that become part of one’s habit or character, whereas vices are bad characteristics. Vices are also called the diseases of the heart. If not treated, it will become etched into our daily lives and will ruin our future in this world and the Hereafter. For example, we can become angry (especially when we see injustices), but not an angry person. We already know what the good virtues are: for example, compassion, justice, courage, wisdom, and so on. We also know of the vices, such as vanity, greed, laziness, pride, etc. What we want to focus on is HOW to purify our hearts.
Poisons of the Heart
There are many ways to purify the heart. Praying, fasting, doing zikir and repentance, giving in charity, helping others and all the good actions purify the heart, inshAllah.
In this session, let us (re)visit the POISONS of the heart instead. These poisons are some of the bad habits that we do, leading to more vices in the heart. Any sins and wrongdoings are poisons, but there are four widespread poisons of the heart, as explained by many classical and contemporary Muslim scholars.
- Unnecessary talking: Talking and communicating is a basic necessity as a social being. With social media, communicating with others becomes easier. However, many fail to practice good etiquette offline and online.
- Unrestrained glances: Our eyes are the windows to our hearts. We tend to only look at what we desire, whether it is good or bad. On social media, the algorithm also skewered our reality. Often, we become one-sided, seeing only what feeds our ego.
- Too much eating: Given the flourishing environment we are in, the abundance of food is well-enjoyed. However, rather than consuming the right sets of nutrition for optimum well-being, we consume also those that ruin our physical body and mentality.
- Keeping bad company: As social beings, we are influenced by our company, and vice versa. It is obvious that if you are surrounded by people with poor behavior, you may also be negatively influenced.
These four are not the only ones. There are many other poisons of the heart (e.g., listening to music, watching soft porn, etc), which can be unique to your predicament. Indeed, the believers will be tested. We also find ourselves filled with these moments, poisoning our hearts. And you know what? IT FELT SO GOOD! Oh, the sweet poisons.
Self-reflection using the heart
So, how can we get ourselves away from these poisons? Do we follow the mantra: If you can’t beat them, might as well join them? The power is also within our hearts, first and foremost. The first thing you need is a purposeful intention to become better. So, let’s do a quick exercise using your heart. Do not underestimate the power you hold within. The heart processes information and makes decisions intuitively. It is a fast process, too fast that your Head may not be able to keep up.
Let us take the first step to purify our hearts. Use your heart to:
- Come up with (at least) one action to make yourself better.
- Make the action SMART-er (i.e., specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely). Tips: Add some quantitative aspects into your action, and a timeline.
- Share your planned action with another heart or/and an accountability partner.
Growth takes time. Don’t rush. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Take some time to celebrate the small wins, where applicable. Even making a purposeful intention is already a win.
Concluding Zikir
We conclude with two zikir to reset the heart:
1. The Chief of Istighfar (Sayyidul Istighfar), one of the best supplications to seek forgiveness from Allah.
2. The second one is a prayer to be done in Ramadhan especially to wipe out all the sins.
